WHO ARE YOU... AS A
FREE AND NATURAL ADULT?
Phase 1 and Phase 2 of Adulthood
Some of us in modern culture experienced what one could call an 'ordinary' childhood. You get born in a hospital with your mother under some form of anesthesia, or simply yanked out of your mother's womb by the patriarchal doctor who cuts open your 'incompetent' mother's belly at his convenience. You are weighed, vaccinated, blood sample taken, some goo squirted into your eyes, shoved into a sterilized plastic incubator because in reality, you were 'born' prematurely.
Maybe you were breast fed for a short while, then moved over to canned 'baby food' as was convenient to your parents. They put you in childcare as early as two years old, and school as soon after that as was legally possible so they could both work to earn enough money to pay for rent and food. Or your father left soon after you were born and you grew up with the stresses of having a single mom.
This is all classified as 'normal' in modern capitalist patriarchal empire culture. In Archearchy, these conditions would be considered 'abusive', and indeed, in comparison with what your being needed to land on Earth in the arms of Gaia so you could bring your true potentials and knacks productively forward to serve the village, these 'modern' conditions fail miserably. Barely a few are lucky or resilient enough to buck the hierarchical systems and retain enough willpower to liberate their gifts.
Over the years of sitting across from people during Possibility Coaching sessions, or while delivering Expand The Box trainings and Possibility Labs, we have had to keep revising our estimate upwards for how many of us have been abused during our childhood. Our current estimate is at least 70%.
I have had to sob out loud to admit this number. My view towards holding a higher percentage of healthy childhoods was distorted by forgetting that those who make it into Healing or Initiatory processes with us are the lucky ones, the least scarred.
The other 70% will probably remain locked into whatever Survival Strategy they fabricated to Numb or distract themselves enough to make it through their days and nights without committing suicide, one way or another.
It can be shocking to admit that you have been abused. It seems to lock you into an inescapable Victim position in the Low Drama triangle. If you admit to having been abused it seems there will no longer be a possibility of regaining self-respect, dignity, or honor. It seems that way, but it is not true.
Admitting the abuse - naming names, dates, actions or inactions - brings you into a closer connection with Reality, a position from which your decisions and actions have more actual power to cause change, healing, and transformation. In other words, your steps along the Path into Adulthood are fortified the closer you get towards accurately acknowledging and reporting what actually happened to you. This, or course, is done in a Team with others who have undertaken a similar Path of healing, initiation, and transformation, and are skillfully holding and navigating space for each other's Processes.
There are many ways of being abused:
If you have experienced any of these kinds of abuses - or suspect that you have - and you have gotten yourself together enough to read these words, we honor you. We regard you as already on our Team of those moving to next culture - Archearchy - using our childhood experiences, whatever they were, as reference points out of which wisdom and compassion can grow strong enough to build bridges for others to also cross over into Archearchy, but only after specific, thorough, and appropriate healing processes.
Since 1975 Possibility Managers have been empirically developing specific Thoughtware Upgrades, plus healing and transformation processes so that human beings can escape from childhood survival strategies in the same way that there comes a point when a butterfly is ready to escape it chrysalis, or a baby bird is ready to escape its shell, to suddenly engage in life from a new standpoint. We ongoingly deliver these Processes in 'Possibility Labs'. ( NOTE: The prerequisite for participating in Possibility Labs is full participation in Expand The Box training.)
PHASE 1 OF ADULTHOOD
Phase 1 of Adulthood begins where you are after your childhood, approximately at 18 years of age. (If you have been unschooled, this age can be as early as 16. Public schooling often blocks and distracts children from their potentials and their Path to a serious degree.)
Phase 1 of Adulthood begins with assessing to what degree you have formed your Survival Strategy around making your abuse normal.
If you make your abuse normal, then even when the abusers (or the abusive circumstances) are no longer present in your life, you do not feel 'normal' unless you continue to abuse yourself. You scream at yourself internally, judge yourself, criticize yourself, blame yourself, disempower yourself, even have 'accidents' such as crashing your bicycle, falling off a ladder, losing all your money, or continuously choosing abusive people as your partners. You have developed the skill of being able to walk into a party or conference where a mix of perhaps one-hundred people are milling about, and with a few seconds scan you find the person you (your Gremlin and Box...) are most 'attracted' to, because this is the person best suited to keep things the same for you by fulfilling the role of your abuser, or the one you can abuse as a way of abusing your own soul.
If you have not made your abuse normal, then as soon as you escape from your abusive circumstances, you bounce back to self-respect and self-care, completely releasing your abusers from your world. An indicator that you have released your abusers is that you are in a healthy evolving intimate relationship. As you can guess by looking around... not many people completely release their abusers. They are still using them.
Phase 1 of Adulthood begins with taking basic care of yourself.
Until you are able to take basic care of yourself, there is no chance for you to begin Phase 2 of Adulthood. Taking basic care of yourself includes:
More participants of an evolutionary Path than one might like to think wonder why it has not worked for them. The answer may be quite simple: You were not there. You let the Child or Gremlin, Parent, or Demon Ego States stay in control of your Adult Ego State. These contaminating Ego States work well as a Survival Strategy to keep things the same, but they interfere voraciously when the wish is to engage in an evolutionary Path. The invasive Ego States will not let changes actually happen because their job is to 'protect you by keeping things the same'.
If you discover this has happened for you, there is nothing else but to start over from zero with a new set of internal and external distinctions about Transforming your Gremlin and Decontaminating your Adult Ego State, and possibly a new Team. Starting over can work, but the chances are enhanced by arranging to be on a Team with some skilled Possibilitators. As a consolation, it can help to recognize that any authentic Matrix that you previously built remains to support your further development.
Once Phase 1 of Adulthood has been accomplished, E.C.C.O. (Earth Coincidence Control Office) will sense it directly. E.C.C.O. will start putting new kinds of jobs and challenges on your bench. This is the signal to engage Phase 2 of Adulthood.
STANDING WITH YOUR BACK TOWARDS THE DOOR
A condition which sometimes arises is that you may have actually gained the skills and made the healing and initiatory changes that together accomplish Phase 1 of Adulthood, but you have stayed there a little too long and crystallized these Phase 1 practices into habit. You made the conclusion that, "This is Adulthood."
Here you are, standing at the Doorway to Phase 2 Adulthood, with your back towards the Doorway. You are facing the opposite direction and do not even know that the Doorway is there, directly behind your back.
You think you have achieved Adulthood because when you feel angry, you make boundaries! You express your feelings. You say what you want. You can say, "Stop!" and "No!" You can hold space with your Center, Grounding Cord and Bubble. And yes, you have achieved Adulthood... Phase 1 Adulthood.
Phase 2 Adulthood is an entirely different universe.
You cannot enter Phase 2 Adulthood before accomplishing Phase 1 Adulthood, BUT... the transition from Phase 1 Adulthood to Phase 2 Adulthood is not automatic. You will need to turn around and face the opposite direction that you are accustomed to and familiar with and feeling so good about. Not only that, but you will need to let go of Phase 1 Adulthood in order to enter Phase 2 Adulthood. It is a scary and groundless transition, but it need not take very long. If you can recognize the habits you have taken on in Phase 1 Adulthood and make them conditional rather than automatic and habitual, then you gain the choice of being able to let them go.
When, for example, 'Making A Boundary' becomes optional rather than mandatory, you gain the Possibility of using the same experiences you are Noticing in the Space for a completely upgraded set of Purposes. For example, rather than using your Conscious Anger to create a rigid or solidified state of Boundaries, you can create a more fluid and Navigable condition by using your Conscious Anger to make Distinctions, Proposals, Invitations, Discovery Questions, Vacuum Learning, and Intimacy Negotiation.
As you turn and walk through the Phase 2 Adulthood Doorway by learning to Fly, your playing field expands to the horizon.
PHASE 2 OF ADULTHOOD
Free And Natural Adult Experiments
NOTICE THAT YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT SERVING OTHERS
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EXPAND THE SIZE OF YOUR CIRCLE
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DOCUMENT AND SHARE YOUR DISCOVERIES
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COMMIT BEFORE YOU KNOW HOW
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